Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Keeping Twins Together In School Or Separating Them?

This is my latest debate with my wonderful twin boys who are ending their year as 1st graders. Eamon and Liam have been in the same class since they started school. When we started preschool at West Maple Elementary there were 6 sets of twins among 2 classrooms. I went in thinking we were different but soon found out that there was something in the water in 2002, in the Bloomfield area. It has been fun watching all of these sets of twins grow up. I kept them together this year and it has been great. We have one of the best teachers, Mrs Lydy and she has kept them in different groups, different tables and gave them the freedom to make other friends. I had the chance to sit down with her the other day and wanted to know her thoughts on keeping them together or separating them. It sounds like the choice is mine.

Eamon and Liam are not dependant on each other, have different friends and have no problem moving around the classroom without the other. I am learning that they often do not play together at recess either. My first choice is to keep them together for as long as I can and it is a bit of a selfish reason. Keeping them together makes it...One schedule to keep track of, One room to volunteer in, One teacher to get to know, One homework schedule and One set of conferences.

One of the things I am noticing is that everything comes easy for Liam and Eamon needs to work harder to get the same results that Liam gets. Liam is a better reader and Eamon sees that. Liam is better in baseball and loves it, while Eamon I dont think likes baseball that much but does it because his brother does it. I believe that sibling competition is good to a certain degree. I think that Eamon will continue to "want" to be like his brother so keeping them together could be a good thing. The things that Eamon is really good at, Liam could care less. Eamon can get one of those lego sets with 500 pieces and that kid will sit down with the instructions and put that darn thing together and have it just perfect. They each have strengths and weaknesses and it is amazing to watch them develop. Their teacher didnt see any competition in the classroom this year so that is good.

It is too tough not to compare when you have multiples. It is just natural to look at one and then say to the other...why cant you do this? By the time my triplets get old enough for school I am going to be a complete expert on multiples and what to do for school.

How they differ....

Liam is very anal and particular. He likes a schedule and doesn't like it when it changes or if he thinks things are not fair. Liam is amazing at puzzles and always has been. Liam is the boss of the house. He tells Eamon what to do and hates it when Eamon won't play with him. Liam is sensitive and often is very interested in the babies. Liam is very polite and usually will wait his turn to talk. Liam is not afraid to bust out in tears if something isn't the way he wants it to be.

Eamon is very laid back and rarely will you see him upset. Eamon will get frustrated at baseball or soccer and you will see his eyes water as he is trying to fight back tears. Eamon is my charming kid. Eamon always says thank you for things such as "mom thanks for buying us our baseball uniforms" or "mom thanks for buying us captain crunch cereal". Eamon is getting better at reading but really needs to focus to get the most out of it. Eamon is great at putting things together and he is especially good at going with the flow and cheering on his brother.

I have to say that I am very proud of both of my boys and they are so sweet. They seem to be happy kids and that is what I try to accomplish...I will never give them everything they want, but I will try to make their lives and experiences ..happy ones...


Myrna said...

Since the teacher seems to think it is okay for them to remain together and it makes life easier for you that might be the way to go. With the full plate that you have right now I think the easier option should always be considered! Just a thought - have you considered asking Eamon and Liam? Don't know if that would be a good idea, but it might be interesting to see what they say -

Beth Webb said...

I think the same as Myrna. I would ask the boys and I wouldn't feel one bit guilty about making it easier on yourself.

latosha said...

I think you should leave them in the same class. I can imagine your schedule is already hectic enough. It seems that the boys are already pretty independent from each other and are doing well. You are the only one who is going to know what's right for your family. I personally don't see the harm in it.

Helene said...

This was an interesting post to read. I'm always curious what other multiples moms are doing about this situation. According to what I've heard about the school district where I live, the parents often don't have a choice whether twins are in the same class or not. My big twins were in the same preschool class this last school year and the teacher felt they did well together. They are both so different in so many ways, esp in skill level. But I think that's common with boy/girl twins.

It'll be interesting to see how my little twins do in school since they are the same gender, as your twin boys.

I was wondering the same thing as the first commenter...have you asked the boys what they think? It would be interesting to hear what their thoughts would be.