Tuesday, June 15, 2010

2 Weeks of Complete Sadness

Time to throw it back.  It was 2002 and David and I just had Eamon and Liam.  We were new parents to a set of twin boys.  I remember having them a couple days before Mothers Day and Mother's Day was the first morning we were home with the new babies.  Of course the first night is never fun but I remember standing at the changing table in the babies room around 9am, very exhausted and very sad.  What had I done?  My life as I knew it was over.  The phone rang and it was my brother in law, Billy and he sounded so rested and happy and said, "I just wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day".  I had all I could do to say thank you and hold back the tears as I handed the phone to my husband.  I found out that Billy was also calling to tell us that he was reading the paper and we had made the article.  A columnist was in the recovery rooms of the hospital the day I delivered. She was doing a story about new moms and Mothe'rs Day.  She was allowed in and asked us lots of questions just hours after the babies arrived.  She had written her article and published it in the Detroit News.  The first 2 weeks were rough.  I was so caught up in the major change of my life that had happened.  We could no longer go out for breakfast, read the paper together and then just do whatever we wanted.  I was afraid we would never be able to go out again.  My husband got me thru all of this with flying colors.  He was wonderful and said exactly what I needed to hear.  He would say, "Heather if we need to get a full time nanny, than that is what we will do".  He was amazing.  I found that each day got a bit easier and once I left the house for a walk by myself I felt better.  I went to Target by myself and walked slowly up and down every aisle..it was great.  I also remember being so scared for my husband to go back to work.  I knew I could do it but I just didn't want to do it alone.  He went to work and came home and it was the beginning of everything getting back to our "new" normal.  I was so into the idea that noone else's life had just changed like mine had.  Everyone else was sleeping like normal and I wasn't, everyone else was going about their summer plans and I had to plan differently since I now was a mother of twin babies.  At the 2 week mark it was like I snapped back into my old self.  I would have never believed that hormones can influence how you feel that much unless I had to experience it.  How powerful our bodies and minds can be. 

This is crazy how tough it was to break into motherhood but now look at us....6 kids later and life is crazy.  The adjustment came only with the twins.  I did not experience any sadness in any of my other pregnancies and I think it was because adding more kids really didn't change my lifestyle..just added to the chaos.

1 comment:

Angela said...

I always say once you're past two kids it's a breeze! Ha! Thanks for sharing. This will help those who feel quite alone right now!