Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Dad of Triplets, Twins and A Single..Busted!

Sunday mornings are always crazy with church, sunday school and hockey practice at noon.  It is a lot to get done in a short amount of time.  I usually need to hit the grocery store on Sunday to gather milk (at a usage rate of 2 gallons a day you are always at the store) and bread (using at least 1 loaf a day) and usually more items but it also provides a bit of a get away for me.  Coasting down the aisles quietly and not worrying about anything except for what is on sale and thumbing through my coupons.  On this particular Sunday I took off as soon as David arrived home from church and before they had to leave for hockey.  It was coming close to lunch so I sat out some taco meat, shells, cheese and tomatoes.  "David, heat up the taco meat and make tacos for lunch".  I got eye contact and a head shake from him so I know he heard me.

I want everyone to know that I was gone for 75minutes.  The things that happen at my house completely amaze me.  I arrived home with bags in tow and as I was unloading the car David approaches me. "Look, the triplets got into stuff and I was watching them but I took my eyes off them for a split second".  I look at him and say, "a split second huh".  I continue taking groceries inside and David is following me.  He must have a good story or he wouldn't be nearly as attentive to my grocery unloading.  I walk inside to see the mess.  The kitchen looks like a typical kitchen after a meal.  Everything that I left for lunch is still sitting out and there is a pile of premade tacos..uneaten on the counter.  My blood pressure starts to creap and David says to me with his hands out in front of him like he is negotiating a big deal at work, "Look, I can explain".  "David, explain what?  The mess? The reason the food is all sitting out?  The clothes on the floor?  The reason the TV is on your channel ?  Go ahead David..explain"

"The triplets found the used oil that I drained from my car that I had in milk cartons out by the shed.  They filled their wheel barrow with it and then they were wheeling it around.  Don't worry I took care of it."  I am literally in awe right now.  "You cleaned it up".  He responds with, "Well I tipped the wheelbarrow over and told them to stay away from it until I get it really cleaned up".  "Did they get it on their shoes"?  "Well a little bit but I wiped it off".  He ended his story with, "Baby, I love you so much". He is now looking at me with his hands in a prayer like fashion, eyes squinted preparing for flying objects and a posture that is lacking confidence. (He knows that this pathetic looks always works.)

 I only left the house for 75minutes.  I was so frustrated and David knew it.  He has a way of making a stressful situation kind of a funny one.  He immediately kicked into "help" mode and began wiping down the kitchen, putting things away and requested that I not be "dissappointed" in him.  I had to ask one last time, "It was just a split second huh".

My opinion on this is that he got busted.  When the boss leaves the kids will play.  The key to the whole story is that during his confession of what happened he said that Finn came in and told him what the others were doing with the oil.  He didn't even discover it......Finn told him.  The "Autoweek" magazine sitting next to the chair was another give away.  Oh and the TV that was on the History Channel (his favorite) was the other giveaway.  Women know how to cover their tracks and Men don't.

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